In the past two weeks...

• We welcomed our baby girl Violet Marie
• Our hearts instantly grew, and we all fell madly in love with her
• I've spent most of this time holding this precious gift
• We celebrated Harrison's 7th Birthday
• I had my first Mother's day as a Mother to 5...WOW
• We've been so blessed to have friends bring us a dinner every single day
• Violet weighed in at 5lbs 13oz's on day 11
• Violet's umbilical cord fell off on day12 much to her big brother Jack's delight
• Tim and I are still amazed that she is a girl :)
• I fell even deeper in love with my husband
• Welcoming Violet into our home has been the easiest transition, it's like she's always been here
• Violet has proven to be the best baby ever
• Olivia's wish came true, she now has a baby sister
• Max has slowly and carefully warmed up to his baby sister
• I am 3 pounds under my starting weight, but can't fit into my jeans...wth

And the fear creaps in!!

I'm not going to lie knowing I have somewhere around a week or less before I'm pumped full of pitocin kinda has me shakin in my sandals!! I know this fear all to well, I'm always consumed by it as my induction date approaches, and no matter how much I want to relax and say it's coming no matter what I find myself filled with anxiety. I know I can do it, I've done it four times before. It's not fun, but you forget about most of the pain as soon as you have that baby in your arms. I've done it a couple of times completely drug free, and a couple of times with a little IV pain meds, I'm hoping this time to once again go completely drug free. She's going to be early, the IV pain meds make them a little more sluggish when they are born, I need to do everything possible to keep her out of the nicu and with me!! The problem is I've never gone into a labor saying I don't want anything, I've always left it open to whatever, so I fear I'm going to psych myself out! I don't know, anyways I know this is a normal fear and most of us deal with it, I just needed to put it out there and try to unload it a little!! I'm a walking time bomb right now, I see the Dr almost everyday and anyone of those days could be the day!! He sounds like if we get to 36 weeks we should celebrate and induce, no more waiting and worrying about this little gal!!

33 and 34 week

Week 33....
This was a pretty uneventful week, we were getting ready to head to the beach for a long weekend so I was pretty busy packing everyone up!! The babies movements have definitely changed from little nudges to knees and feet in the ribs!! There is a part of me this week that is ready for the pregnancy to be over, but I have to remind myself that this is it and to enjoy it!!
34 weeks..
This is the week that changed everything, I felt like I shrunk a little but didn't think too much of it. I had a ultrasound on Friday that put the remaining part of this pregnancy into a spiral of craziness. Baby was cruising along in the 50th percentile, until that ultrasound when she dropped down to the 10th, and measured 8cm of fluid. The Dr gave me a steroid shot and told me I needed to go to the hospital on Saturday (which was my 34th day) to have another one and a nst. He also contacted the high risk clinic I saw in the beginning of my pregnancy and told me they were recommending a amnio and induction for Monday. We were not ready for this little girl to come home, I thought I had a good 5 weeks to get things around and prepare, boy was I wrong!! We did everything that weekend, bought all the things we needed to bring her home, stocked up on some tiny clothes and diapers and set up the crib. Thankfully when Monday came around they decided she looked good and as long as I was being well monitored it would be best for her to stay in a little longer!! Thank God!! So now I'm seeing a Dr 4 out of the 5 days of the week and playing the waiting game, it could be today or tomorrow or a week from now I have no idea!! I'm trying my best to enjoy these last few days of being pregnant, enjoying and storing away for memory sake every little nudge and movement.
We took this picture in our frenzy of getting ready to head to the hospital on Monday, realizing we hadn't taken a single maternity picture!! We threw down the black back drop and spent all of 5 min's snapping a few pictures. Now we're pretty sure we're going to name her Violet but in a panic on the way down to the hospital I said "what if we don't end up naming her Violet"!! Unfortunately I don't have that cute baby bump when I lie down and it just really looks like I'm fat, this is why I will only be sharing this picture with my lovely friends who read my blog and not FB!!! Where the V of her name is you can see a little hump, well that is her hiney, you can grab it, it's always there!!

I'll be 35 weeks tomorrow and I'm hoping to at least be pregnant for another week!! I can't wait to meet this little girl and love on her, but I desperately want to keep her out of the nicu!! Her weight is holding in the 3.9 lbs, even with the level 2 ultrasound, so she needs to gain about a 1/2 pound to not have to go to the nicu based on her weight. I dropped about 3 pounds in the last week which puts my weight gain at 11 pounds. I'm on the "take it easy" plan, which I didn't realize meant do nothing!! I trimmed my edges and planted flowers all day on Wednesday, the Dr felt the need to explain to me that taking it easy meant doing nothing ;) I asked him about walking in the JDRF walk on the 16th and he kindly asked me if I was crazy!! I will be seeing him 3 times a week and the specialist once a week until they decide it's time. That schedule is crazy hard to keep up with on top of the kids schedule, and I figure I better try to get Easter all squared away too. So much to get done, not really sure there is time for resting!! Oh and if I sit for too long completely upright I start having contractions...fun!! I'm going to try to snap some pictures of her crib and stuff, even though we didn't get a chance to get it all done. We're going to paint our bedroom because it's a lovely shade of blue that I never liked, but it was just my room, now that Miss Violet will be bunking with us it needs to be painted!!!

And so it begins...

So here I am cruising along with this pregnancy thinking all is well, I hit 28 weeks..Great..and then I wake up yesterday morning with terrible tailbone pain!! Yes completely out of the blue it hits me and now I can barely sit, stand, walk, bend over or lie down!! I wake up in the middle of the night if I move due to the pain, ummm this sucks!! So now all of a sudden the last bit of my pregnancy doesn't look so short any longer, thinking about having to deal with this pain for another 11 weeks sounds like a nightmare!! This is the first time I've ever had or dealt with this kind of pain during pregnancy, but I googled it and it sounds like it's pretty common. The bad news is it doesn't look like there is anything I can do to relieve the pain besides deliver. Wonderful!!

27 weeks

I finally have a official due date, and we're going with the date of my last period, so it's May 14th!! I will be induced a week early which is May 7th or better known as Harrison's Birthday!! Who knows what day we'll officially pick, but I'm hoping for it not to have to be the 7th, although Harrison thinks it would be great to have his sister on his Birthday!! Thinking he wouldn't think it was so great next year!! Nothing like picking "the day" and scheduling it around what works best for everyone, I will always wonder what it would feel like just to go into labor!!

I had a Dr. appointment last Friday along with a ultrasound, got to sneak another pick at our little girl and of course confirm it's still a little girl...and it is :) She's adorable if I do say so myself and reminds me of Max! I love getting the chance to see her sweet little face already!! I remember when I got to see Max in 3D before I had him, I swear my heart grew two sizes bigger at that exact moment, as it did this time as well :) Here is our little sweet pea...


I've been feeling pretty good, feeling much more pregnant and umm looking it if I do say so myself. I finally broke down and ordered some maternity shirts hope they get here soon, I don't want my belly poking out of the bottom of my shirt when I'm out and about! I'm still around that 3-5 pound weight gain, promised the Doc to have a couple of milk shakes per week!! Thinking this won't be hard with the nice weather starting down here, it's been close to hitting 70's or in the low 70's, makes going for ice cream sound like a good idea!! I could complain about a few aches and pains, but I know that it just comes with pregnancy and knowing that these last 12 weeks will be my last 12 weeks of experiencing this I'm trying to just take it all in!! So here I am at 27 weeks, or 27 1/2 if you want to get technical ;) That is a baby bump that cannot be denied!! And I'll say it again, I suck at taking these pictures!!


Speaking of 12 weeks can I just say holy crap!! I feel like I have all the time in the world to get things around but I think it's really going to sneak up on us! I really have nothing around and ready, like I said in my last post we were hoping to move so I kinda was putting everything on hold until that happened, but now that it's not I have to figure it out in this house for now. Which I think means...

• She's going to camp out in our room with us.
• Max is going to get to keep the crib until he's ready to leave it, I have no nursery to hurry up and decorate so why force the kid out.
• I need to find a dresser to paint, I'm thinking a old vintage looking dresser in a nice pink, what do you think?
• I need to make room for this baby in my room..yikes!! Tim is against putting the baby in my walk in closet so I guess she's gets to camp out by his side of the bed :)

A few little things that I would like to remember...

• I'm still trying to sleep on my stomach with a pillow to help keep me propped up and when I wake up in the morning, she's curled up on the opposite side, you can see her protruding from the one side of my stomach and it feels like you can grab right a hold of her!! This is definitely one of the highlights of my day!!
• She seems pretty quiet, not a ton of crazy moving and shaking going on in there!
• At her 27 week ultrasound she weighed 1.9 pounds and was in the breech position.
• I'm much wider this time around than I was with at least the last two boys.
• I seem to grow as the day goes on some days, in the morning I might start of pretty small and end the day looking pretty big. Weird, I don't really remember that happening, but it has been awhile!!

I know that was a long post, just a few things I wanted to document for memory sake and had to share the pic's!!

Valentines Day

I must admit that this year Valentines day was not quite the event it usually is. I had big plans like I always do, but then sickness hit us and well those plans never really happened. Max and I ran out to Target yesterday morning to pick up the "guys" (as Max likes to call them) gifts for V-day. We ended up with a book and new lunch box for H, a book and skippy thing for Liv, books for Jack, and a play-do set for Mister Max.

I usually will pack them a very special lunch, but on this certian day I didn't wake up to pack lunches or to even see them off to school making sure they were wearing something pink or red, nope Dad took care of that and well that stuff means nothing to him. Insert guilt. I did manage to pull together our annual scavenger hunt which has become a tradition the kids look forward to every year. I punch out 6-8 hearts in their assigned colors (somewhere in their lives I color coded them, Jack-green, Olivia-pink, Harrison-blue, Max-red) and use the hearts for a scavenger hunt for their gift. The kids love this part, and I'm pretty sure enjoyed that way more than their gifts!!

We ordered pizza for the kids got them fed and headed out to dinner by ourselves...gasp!! Jack held down the fort while we enjoyed a hour without crying, whining, complaining and of course fighting!!

In other news we found out yesterday that the house we were in the process of trying to get is gone :( We've been trying for the last 3 weeks to get out of our lease so we could move into what I dare to call almost the perfect house for house. I'm super bummed, I spent a fair amount of time living in the house...mentally of course. We would of gained a LOT of space, a great fenced in back yard, and the kids could of walked to school. I'm so disappointed but I keep trying to tell myself that it just wasn't meant to be so it is what it is! We have now decided to ride out the length of this lease (November 1st) and just wait and see what and where we go from here, I'm not use to this limbo life style and it's a little unsettling for me. So now we need to figure out a way to squish all 7 of us in a four bedroom house!! I know this is do-able it's just not ideal.

Sick

Tuesday night I said to Tim "I can feel something settling in my chest", I felt fine but could just feel it coming. Wednesday I woke up with one of those horrible tight awful sounding coughs. I felt like crap, Tim insisted I go see a Dr. that morning, this sounded incredibly unnecessary to me but he drove me there so off I went!!

They made me wear a mask, like it wasn't hard enough to breath already!! And then for the first time ever I got to have the flu test done, umm not pleasant!! As the nurse firmly held the back of my head she proceeded to shove a q-tip type thing up into my sinus cavity and hold it there for 30 seconds. This was not pleasant at all!! It was negative and I went home with a antibiotic and the feeling that I would surely be better tomorrow!

I'm not better, I'm actually a little worse today the medicine makes me very sick to my stomach making it almost impossible to eat anything and keep it down when a coughing fit comes on! And the coughing, well we're all friends here, the coughing is terrible and makes this pregnant women pee in her pants every time it happens! My stomach muscles are so sore and my chest feels like it's been hit by a truck.

I'm running a low grade fever, in the high 90's or low 100's but I hate to take any kind of meds for it. Instead I take baths that are too hot, the kind you should not be taking while running a fever or pregnant, the kind where I don't even touch the cold knob! We do have the scalding safety set so it's not that hot, just enough that it burns a little when you get in and makes a sharp ripple of goose bumps over your whole body!

I can't sleep maybe 30 min's to a hour at a time before I shoot up and cough my lungs out. Hopefully tomorrow will be the day that I start to feel better, I'm sure my family would appreciate that too!!

I know you were all dying to know what was going on with me ;)

First timer

I seriously feel like this is my first baby, it's crazy how much you forget in 3 years!! I find myself questioning how many blankets I need, onsies, outfits, pacifiers, pajamas, and then questioning what I put a infant in when it's in the middle of summer!!

So help me out, I only had one summer baby and that was 6 years ago, and a lot cooler of a climate!! Do you think I would just put her to sleep in a onsie and swaddle her, or does she still need sleepers?? I have a few long sleeved and long panted outfits, but I question will it be too hot for her to wear them!! I have a good combination of semi warm and light clothing in newborn sizes (thanks to all the up to 7 pounds clothes I bought for Liv's dolls while I worked at Gap), and in 0-3 I only really have "warm weather" clothes!! So for anyone who had a summer baby (Sadie) help me out a little...PLEASE!!

22/23 week

So, yes I still don't know when I'm officially due...weird right?? Every time I try to make my Dr. nail down a date, he says things like "well we have plenty of time to figure that out"...ugh!! To his defense I am seeing another Dr. down in Charlotte and I think they don't 100% agree on my due date, so I'm still unsure of the exact date. There is a 10 day difference in the two dates I've been given, the one going off of my period would be May 15th, and going off the ultrasound would be May 22nd. For right now I've just kinda been going off the 22nd date because I would rather be surprised and deliver 10 days earlier than be ready and go 10 days later!! So if I go off of that date I am 22 weeks, and will be 23 on Saturday!! Alright enough with this craziness, let's get on with the good stuff ;)

Weight gain-it's official the Dr. says I've gained 3 pounds and he would like me to eat more...um okay Doc!! He says he's "concerned" with the lack of weight I gained, I told him and I quote "Well I usually only gain around 15-20 pounds, so throw a 6 pound baby in there, fluid and a placenta and I think we're good" he gave me a blank stare and told me to eat more!!

Names-I'm so stumped on this one, I could rattle off boy names I love all day, but when it comes to girl names I'm lost!! I'm starting to get concerned a little bit, am I not going to fall in love with a girl name and have to just settle on something!!

Baby-I would say that this baby seems so quiet, but in ultrasound she's moving around like crazy!! I feel like I only feel her moving a few time a day, well I should say that a few times I day I notice that she's being active. I'm hoping that I'm just still early yet or if she's a quiet baby I'm good with that too!! When I lie down on my back, you can grab my uterus, it's so gross it looks like a ball with some skin covering it...ick!!

Baby stuff-So I went to Babies R Us with Tim last Saturday while my parents were watching the kids, yes I know it's sad that is what we did on our day out!! Anyways I registered while I was there because they'll give you a 15% off coupon to use for everything that wasn't purchased off of your registry and you can use any other coupons you may happen to have!! I was sure on pretty much everything I needed/wanted, I loved my Chicco car seat, and had made up my mind that I would get another one...a pink one of course :) But as I was checking out I saw this Quinny Stroller for $273!! I bought it, I love it, but I'm not sure if I'm going to keep it!! The problem is you can only really use a Maxi Cosi car seat with it, and I really don't want one and the reviews are not so great on them as well!! So now I'm stumped!! I LOVE the Chicco car seat, but never used the stroller after I was done with the infant car seat because it doesn't sit up and Max hated trying to sit in it!! So do I go for this system or stay with the stroller I love and figure out the car seat issue?? PLEASE help me out on this one!!!

Alright I have to run, I'm suppose to be ready in about 30 min's to take Max to a Spanish class and I still need to shower!! Picture of the belly to come very soon I promise!!

100th post :)

I can't believe I've posted something on this blog 100 times!! Now I should of done something fab for this special occasion, but I just didn't know what to do!! So instead I'm going to take this opportunity to thank you, my dear friends who read this!! There are a handful of you that I know read and care and I appreciate each and everyone of you for being in my life!!

True friendship is hard to come by, and I feel so blessed for you who I know are my true friends, my life long friends!! We may get busy with life and kids, but I know you are always there for me when I need you. It's great to be able to talk to someone after not talking for awhile and be able to talk like no time has passed!! I am so thankful for you guys and your friendship!!

I think sometimes I turn to this blog to vent my frustrations in life, I want to try to do that less and document my family's life a little more!! That being said this blog serves as such a good release for me at times, when frustrations are built up it's so nice to just write!! So thank you for reading the good, bad, and the ugly :)

Here's to 100 more!!

Week 21/22

So this is either my 21st or 22nd week, I'm going to nail down a positive due date next week at my Dr's opt. I'm still feeling good, my left hip is giving me a little trouble but if it wasn't for that or the nudges from the baby it would be easy to forget I was even pregnant. I'm still somewhere in the 3-5 pound weight gain, it tends to depend on when I weigh myself. I have almost completely switched over to maternity clothes now, no shirts but dang the jeans are comfy :) It's weird I seem to start out the day not looking pregnant at all and by the end of the day HOLY COW!! This pic was taken late in the day...blah!!

It feels like there is so much time to get things around, but I know I need to start thinking about some of it in the near future!! I had that first twitch of fear about giving birth the other day, like it hit me all of a sudden how this was going to end, it's hard to think about a wonderful day of pain in your near future!! I'm going to try my best to do this one completely drug free also, first of all because it's a amazing experience when you get through it, and second of all I know I will probably be at the hospital alone and I don't want to be all drugged up!! Let me clarify that, Tim will be with me during the delivery, but I'm almost 100% sure he will need to go home and be with the kids in the afternoon.

Ultrasound pics

A foot

Here's a few pics from my ultrasound I had a couple of weeks ago!!

It's a girl shot, which doesn't look very clear or good, but it's the only one she gave us!! I guess the three lines is what your looking for!!




And here she is the way she looked the entire hour we were having our ultrasound, bent in half :) In some of the pics her knees were resting on her forehead, they weren't able to get all the measurements because of this, so hopefully when we go back she'll straighten up a little ;)

I need to post a new belly shot, I swear since I posted the last one I doubled if not tripled in size!! Yikes!! Sometimes I think I look like I should deliver next month, but I still have a long ways to go!!

2011 New Years Resolutions...

I know this is some lame thing that people feel like they have to do this time of year, and most of the things on the list are a joke and never happen, but hey you have to try...right?? So here is my list, some reachable, some probably more like a dream, and some I really hope I can make happen!!

Here we go...

• Blog more
• learn to sew
• continue learning and growing in photography
• try to grow a business
• be a better mother and wife
• stress less
• love more
• be happy more
• enjoy life more
• find the time
• make things I want to happen, happen
• get a even lower A1C for Liv
• realize I can't control everything and try to put more trust in God/fate
  
• figure out if this is home or if it's time to move on
• get into shape after the arrival of number 5
  

Some of these are cheesy and more than less not a goal but me trying to better myself!! But I think that's what it's all about, remembering to try to better ourselves!!

Happy New Years my friends!!