And the fear creaps in!!

I'm not going to lie knowing I have somewhere around a week or less before I'm pumped full of pitocin kinda has me shakin in my sandals!! I know this fear all to well, I'm always consumed by it as my induction date approaches, and no matter how much I want to relax and say it's coming no matter what I find myself filled with anxiety. I know I can do it, I've done it four times before. It's not fun, but you forget about most of the pain as soon as you have that baby in your arms. I've done it a couple of times completely drug free, and a couple of times with a little IV pain meds, I'm hoping this time to once again go completely drug free. She's going to be early, the IV pain meds make them a little more sluggish when they are born, I need to do everything possible to keep her out of the nicu and with me!! The problem is I've never gone into a labor saying I don't want anything, I've always left it open to whatever, so I fear I'm going to psych myself out! I don't know, anyways I know this is a normal fear and most of us deal with it, I just needed to put it out there and try to unload it a little!! I'm a walking time bomb right now, I see the Dr almost everyday and anyone of those days could be the day!! He sounds like if we get to 36 weeks we should celebrate and induce, no more waiting and worrying about this little gal!!

33 and 34 week

Week 33....
This was a pretty uneventful week, we were getting ready to head to the beach for a long weekend so I was pretty busy packing everyone up!! The babies movements have definitely changed from little nudges to knees and feet in the ribs!! There is a part of me this week that is ready for the pregnancy to be over, but I have to remind myself that this is it and to enjoy it!!
34 weeks..
This is the week that changed everything, I felt like I shrunk a little but didn't think too much of it. I had a ultrasound on Friday that put the remaining part of this pregnancy into a spiral of craziness. Baby was cruising along in the 50th percentile, until that ultrasound when she dropped down to the 10th, and measured 8cm of fluid. The Dr gave me a steroid shot and told me I needed to go to the hospital on Saturday (which was my 34th day) to have another one and a nst. He also contacted the high risk clinic I saw in the beginning of my pregnancy and told me they were recommending a amnio and induction for Monday. We were not ready for this little girl to come home, I thought I had a good 5 weeks to get things around and prepare, boy was I wrong!! We did everything that weekend, bought all the things we needed to bring her home, stocked up on some tiny clothes and diapers and set up the crib. Thankfully when Monday came around they decided she looked good and as long as I was being well monitored it would be best for her to stay in a little longer!! Thank God!! So now I'm seeing a Dr 4 out of the 5 days of the week and playing the waiting game, it could be today or tomorrow or a week from now I have no idea!! I'm trying my best to enjoy these last few days of being pregnant, enjoying and storing away for memory sake every little nudge and movement.
We took this picture in our frenzy of getting ready to head to the hospital on Monday, realizing we hadn't taken a single maternity picture!! We threw down the black back drop and spent all of 5 min's snapping a few pictures. Now we're pretty sure we're going to name her Violet but in a panic on the way down to the hospital I said "what if we don't end up naming her Violet"!! Unfortunately I don't have that cute baby bump when I lie down and it just really looks like I'm fat, this is why I will only be sharing this picture with my lovely friends who read my blog and not FB!!! Where the V of her name is you can see a little hump, well that is her hiney, you can grab it, it's always there!!

I'll be 35 weeks tomorrow and I'm hoping to at least be pregnant for another week!! I can't wait to meet this little girl and love on her, but I desperately want to keep her out of the nicu!! Her weight is holding in the 3.9 lbs, even with the level 2 ultrasound, so she needs to gain about a 1/2 pound to not have to go to the nicu based on her weight. I dropped about 3 pounds in the last week which puts my weight gain at 11 pounds. I'm on the "take it easy" plan, which I didn't realize meant do nothing!! I trimmed my edges and planted flowers all day on Wednesday, the Dr felt the need to explain to me that taking it easy meant doing nothing ;) I asked him about walking in the JDRF walk on the 16th and he kindly asked me if I was crazy!! I will be seeing him 3 times a week and the specialist once a week until they decide it's time. That schedule is crazy hard to keep up with on top of the kids schedule, and I figure I better try to get Easter all squared away too. So much to get done, not really sure there is time for resting!! Oh and if I sit for too long completely upright I start having contractions...fun!! I'm going to try to snap some pictures of her crib and stuff, even though we didn't get a chance to get it all done. We're going to paint our bedroom because it's a lovely shade of blue that I never liked, but it was just my room, now that Miss Violet will be bunking with us it needs to be painted!!!