Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Stuck on repeat

Lately I've been feeling like I need something more. Something to get me out of my funk. Something new. Something different. Every day for past 11 years my life has been about taking care of kids, cooking, cleaning and running errands. Now I'm not complaining I love being a stay at home mom, I appreciate that I get to be here for them and take care of them. I'm just starting to feel like I want something for me, something that doesn't involve cooking, cleaning and changing dirty diapers!! A lot of women told me that when I get in my 30's things will change, well I'm starting to believe it now!!

This is how my day goes everyday...

Wake up at 6:30 am
Tim and I get the kids ready for school, he takes them hopefully around 7:00. This being said Olivia usually throws a fit 3 out of the 5 mornings about her socks, her jeans, her shoes...ugh.
Attempt to be a good mom and play with Max
Take a shower
Swear that I'm going to work out today
Leave to give Liv her shot around 10:30
Get home around 10:45, talk to Tim for a little bit and hang out some more
Make lunch around 11:00-11:30
Put Max down for nap around 12:00
Clean up a little..yuck
Say to myself "I should take the dog for a walk or work out", think about it...90% of the time I end up sitting on the coach reading a book, watching TV or getting on FB or blogs.
Go pick up the kids from school around 1:30
Help them with homework, pick up after them, listen about their days
Around 4:30 start to make dinner
Eat dinner at 5:30
Eat and clean up usually is over around 6:30
Finish up any homework, read with the kids, give kids baths, comb hair, dry hair, pick up the laundry that they left on the floor from putting their pj's on
Try to get the kids in bed around 7:00 so they can read, and I can take turns reading with them
Hopefully around 7:30 we're tucking them all in and saying our good nights
Pick up a little more
Sit on the coach and watch a show with Tim
Fall asleep on the coach around 9:30-10:00
Wake up and do it all over again

Now I do understand that the life of a stay at home mom is neither fun or exciting, but come on!! I want a reason to put on a dress or a nice outfit, I want a reason to look nice for something! I want my kids to say something more than "you just stay home all day, you don't have a real job". I love them for that by the way ;) I have to do something for myself, as hard as it might be I'm just going to have to do it. So I was thinking maybe I would try to open a small photography business, I do love to take pictures. Maybe now that I'm down here and settled I really need to try to make D Boutique work, God knows that would make me happy. I'm not sure what I want or what I need, I just need a change. We've considered having one more, getting pregnant this spring, but with that brings more of the same. While I would LOVE, LOVE to have one more, I won't do it if it means I'm giving up something for me. Sounds so selfish of me doesn't it, but I figure I better start being a little selfish or I'm going to be a shell of a person.

I feel like I need to hit play on my life, and stop saying I'm going to do this or I'm going to do this, and just do it. Make myself happy. I desperately want to loose weight, the only thing that is stopping me is me. I just need to do it :) Maybe being in your 30's is a wake up call, saying life is short if you want more now is the time to do it!!

1 comment:

  1. woooooow do I really want 4 kids??? haha :) That's a LOT of running around and picking up!!! But I'm sure its worth it right?

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