WOW, what have I gotten myself into!!

It was a long day today, I just wrote this huge post about every little detail of the day, but deleting it sparing you guys!! Long story short my many children had many melt downs today and I am plain worn out as a Mommy!! I almost broke down in tears at the mall today when Harrison was having a HUGE tantrum when the cashier said to me "you have more patience than I ever had, I don't know how you do it". Really I feel like I'm holding on by a thread. All the crying, whining, fighting, complaining and just plain defiance is really starting to wear on me. I've questioned the quality of my parenting skills as my life and children seem to spiraling out of control!! I feel lost. I feel like I so desperately want to "quite" the most important job of my life. I feel like a failure. I don't know what to do with them. I think when I decided to have four kids I didn't realize what I was getting myself into. I am beaten down.

-Max cried most of the day. Wouldn't follow me around the park, would only throw himself to the ground in his fit of rage.

-Olivia had a 30 min melt down, screaming and punching the seat because she could not buckle.

-Harrison cried and yelled for 45 min's at the mall because Max touched his guy.

This does include all the other whining, fighting and crying that goes on all day!! Olivia has turned into some kind of DIVA and doesn't think that she should have to do ANYTHING!! I need something to give!! I need a good day, just one good day.

With all that being said I love my kids more than anything in the world, it would just be nice if I could enjoy them a little more. I end up being such a ball of stress I feel like I'm not enjoying life enough!! I need to figure something out, I think I'm too much of a push over and I need to become more strict with them. Who knows, I just know that I hate these bad mommy days!!

Thanks for listening!!

On the road agian!!

So we're on another road trip down to the Carolina's!! We left Saturday morning, after we dropped off my nephew who decided at 6:00am that he didn't want to go with us anymore..bummer!! I must say it was a pretty last minute decision for him to come with us, it happened Friday night while we were eating dinner, we said hey you want to come with us and he said "sure"! So funny, I don't think he was prepared to keep up with us!! So we had a little of a late start, but that's how it goes! The bad part was Tim and I didn't get any sleep Friday night! Wow..Harrison woke up about 15 minutes after we went to bed (midnight) then the little bugger woke Max up..who thought it was time to play. I spent the night in the living room with Max playing with toys and watching Diego..fun, fun!! Anyways I got Max to sleep around 5:30am and guess what time the alarm went off..6am..no sleep for me!! The drive seemed extra long and painful with no sleep for us!!

We arrived in Charlotte Friday night and went straight to the hotel to get some sleep!! Today we checked out the city and went to a great state park on Lake Norman, this lake is so amazing!! My kids had a great time playing in the water and walking on the nature paths. We had a cooler with us, so we ended up having a picnic lunch, very unplanned but such a great time!! Sometimes the things that aren't planned turn out to be the best! The community around this lake is amazing, we could only dream of being lucky enough to be able to live on this lake one day!!

Now we are in Raleigh , Tim is here to work for the week and me and the kids are along for the ride. The hotel has a great pool, so I plan on using that all day tomorrow. I found a cool water park that's on a lake so we'll check that out later in the week, I'll have to post some pictures for you guys!!

I hope my kids will always have fond memories of these road trips, I know I always will!! It's awesome to be able to take them to all of these places and to be able to see so many places..thanks to Daddy's work!!